Written by Ma. Andrea Erin E. Ramos | @Erin_TRL
On the bully’s defense.
Bullies are bad people that society likes to hate. That’s why it may be a good thing when you got yourself a “bad person” on your side, as many won’t even dare to come at you. A benefit of having them by your side, I might say. They might even defend you tooth-for-tooth and get themselves into trouble to save you from other bullies and mean people.
Letting themselves expose their pitch-black shades and embrace the hatred towards them to save you, to save a friend. And this is a “bully’s” story I wanted to share.
People who were friends with bullies were despised too by most of us. So, who has got their backs? Who’s got her back? When she got everyone’s back, who can save her when she’s the one who needs saving? Who takes care of her?
“Wala, ako lang din”, she said.
A self-proclaimed spoiled brat college student shares her story. She was called “Ja,” a nickname she got in high school, and Ja is the name of a walking trouble. She was once expelled from one of her schools because she used to bully “weak” girls and boys. She used to prank them by putting soil on their water bottle, putting stones and mud inside their bags, mocking them with hurtful words and calling them names, knocking their food out, and all other kinds of what a stereotypical bully would do, she did.
Back in 2019, she recalled that she was once transferred to an exclusive school. A kind of private school, but it was full of rich, entitled kids and some fortunate scholars. Ja’s parents thought it would help fix her attitude, but to their horror, this is where her another prey is about to suffer.
Her new school was a Catholic school known to teach good morals and good conduct to its students, and the students themselves held themselves in high regard and understood to be “good models” of the community. At first, Ja was well-behaved and obedient, as expected from a newcomer. She was making friends with everyone and was very good at it. She was a jolly, happy, and intelligent girl that chose trouble and perpetrated chaos.
And speaking of trouble, she came for it. Months passed she was bothered and intrigued by one of her classmates. Like her, she was a spoiled brat who thought highly of herself. A natural troublemaker, she goes double for it by preying on her classmate.
“Nag i-istand out siya, hindi dahil magaling s’ya pero dahil bida-bida s’ya. So ako una pa lang marami na [‘yung aking] circle of friends kahit saang level ng year. Tapos lahat sila dinadaing yung girl na ‘yon, edi nainis ako kasi pansin ko rin bida-bida, sipsip.”, Ja said.
“Edi ginawa ko pinag-tripan ko lagi ‘pag nakatalikod s’ya, pinag-uusapan lang namin nung una hanggang buong klase may GC pero wala s’ya ‘tas s’ya topic ‘don. Sa GC lang nung una [binu-] bully hanggang sa school na, hindi namin pinapansin. Nile-left out namin,” she added.
Not to be outdone, Ja felt the need to crash on her classmate’s ‘twisted’ games in school, so she made a move to humiliate her. Ja claimed that many students hate her classmate because of her egoistic behavior and act so innocent and well-behaved whenever teachers at school are around.
“Feeling school queen edi tinapatan ko,” she said.
“’Yung pagiging anghel n’ya sa mga teacher nabago dahil nilabas ko lahat ng baho nya… nilagay ko lang s’ya sa lugar n’ya kasi kala n’ya lahat kaya n’ya paikutin.”
Ja also did spiteful things to her, like calling her unpleasant names, keeping her things hidden, and all the things her classmate did, Ja would make it look wrong and make fun of her all the time. No one would ever listen to her classmate again because the students knew what Ja did, and she became her class’ undisputable queen-bee. Ja also invented fake stories that her classmate used cheat sheets on exams, but later was proven true. And Ja became more eager to know how bad her classmate really was. She wanted to expose her even more and teach her lessons because she said that none of the other students from that school could speak up against her rival. She tried making it good by being the badder, meaner version of her classmate and became the hero so she would never be the villain.
Unfortunately, her reign would meet its end when she intentionally slapped her classmate at a role-play she orchestrated. She slapped her classmate so hard the neck almost twirled in a full circle during the scene, according to Ja. One of her classmates took a video of the scene and uploaded it to Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. From there, her rival classmate took it to the school principal. All the odds were against her this time, and nothing she could deny would spare her from being reprimanded.
Her bullying story ends here but what about her story?
Ja on my interview with her, revealed that she was on an abusive family; “binubugbog ako ng pamilya ko”. The pain she has been feeling was buried deep onto her, admitting that she is broken both emotionally and mentally.
“Sobrang aggressive ko ngayon. Parang dahil sa lahat ng dinanas ko nawala ‘yung puso ko na dati malambing, mabait… Parang naabuso... Tapos wala na. Lahat nawala sa akin…”
Ja cannot find herself anymore amidst the abuse and pain she’s been dealing. “Di ko alam kung nag-mamatapang lang ako para lang ‘di nila makitang mahina ako.”
“Ang tingin ng lahat sa’kin demonyo,” she said firmly.
Ja humbly confesses that she did bully a lot of people back in the days up to this date as it satisfies her and make her feel that she’s strong enough.
It is her against the world, yet she does not care.
“Parang naitatago ko lahat ng panghihina ko ‘pag may ibang tao akong pinapahina, masaya ako ‘pag may nasasaktan ako kasi nalilipat sa kanila ‘yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.”
Many people see her as cruel as she was, and the world become even more cruel as bad people with cruel intentions linger. As Lauryn Mummah McGaster said, “You know why kids bully? Because adult’s bully. But no one wants to have that conversation.” And bullies are not born, they are created.
Ja also mentioned that she did unrighteous things not just to satisfy her, but also, she did all these things for her friends. She shows up when someone need a backup and fight with them no matter what’s at stake. She got friends because they knew she will always be there to protect them and will always be there to fight for them. A bully to rule them all, a bully to stop other bullies.
Ja is both the bad guy and the broken hero who will either make you her prey or your protection against the world.
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