by Denise Joy Nicolas @nicolasden_TRL
November 08, 2022
The death of a writer is not the last breath taken, nor at the stop of the heart beating, it is when the pen stops moving and the ink runs out.
Writing is definitely an intriguing way of communication, like who would have known that through written symbols, it would be a widely used medium to communicate. Through strings of words woven together, a writer could take you to different places. However, like how commas and periods work, the passion for writing sometimes comes to a pause too, or for worse it ends completely; a writer’s death, and also my greatest fear.
Losing the passion for writing is not recognized immediately, one moment you have all these ideas waiting to be written, then suddenly you are facing a blank paper unable to move your pen. Is it procrastination? A writer’s block? Or have you just completely fallen out of love with writing? Realizing that what was once your passion being reduced to just being a tiring chore is truly disheartening. As Linda Smith, a content creator, had written, “Your passion becomes more than just something you do, it becomes something you are.” That is why, one could only imagine how devastating it is to lose your passion such as writing. It threatens one’s identity because after all we can’t deny that if our writing is our passion, being a writer is already part of our whole self. It is frightening, watching a piece of you that was once held dearly be lost suddenly in the dark. Like an ending of a story, but it is the tragic one where the protagonist dies and all hopes are lost.
However, as commas and periods provide pause, it doesn’t mean it can be the end entirely. We can still create a whole new sentence after it. Losing the passion to write can still be discovered once again. Here are some steps in finding the passion again, these are inspired from an article from Well-Storied by Kristen Kiefer, a fantasy fiction writer.
Step # 1: Accept that the Ink has run out
Realizing losing a part of you is devastating, at this point it is easier to deny the reality and put the blame on yourself or to others. However, that is not the time to do that. Acknowledging that you have lost passion that was once burning is helpful in working in rebuilding the connection with writing. And still, don’t forget to not dwell on this too much and continue to move forward.
Acknowledging that your ink is running low does not mean that it’ll be the stop sign, as mentioned earlier it is important to get past it. Just as it is easy to lose ink, it is also easy to refill it. After facing the fear of no longer having the drive for writing, take this an opportunity to fuel your passion again. Have your ink be vibrant and bring your words to life once more.
Step #2: Confront the blank paper
Now that we are past the acknowledging part, it is time to confront and evaluate our emotions. It is now the moment to know why you are stuck on a blank paper unable to move and write the words you’ve been saving up. Ask the questions that might answer what might have caused this falling out. Such as, “Are you doubtful of your skills?” or “Are you fatigued mentally or emotionally?” A blank paper can be quite scary, it might seem as if you are stuck on a loop, taunting you, showing the art that you may lose. However, it is important to remember that getting real with such emotions is a brave step in making a change in your writing. It may be easier to just turn away from the paper and just rip and crumple it in different ways, still, in the end it is a canvas where your words can create worlds, so ask yourself, “is it really worth it? To throw it away instead of facing it?”
Step #3: Identify the commas and periods
The confrontation may have led to finding out the cause but the question is, what really sparked those negative emotions? What is the reason you paused? Like, were you mentally fatigued because the work has been overwhelming and you have been working too hard? Don’t be afraid to be honest with it and uncover the roots that caused this dissatisfaction. After all, commas and periods do not just magically appear, it is used to take a break. Losing your drive in writing may not be the death you’ve been afraid of as this pause may just be a sign for you to take a breather and re-evaluate yourself. Also, in this way, aside from learning the cause of it, it can lead to having a clue on how to solve it.
Step #4: Change your pen
In writing, there are false beliefs that plant the seed of doubt in our writing. An example of those is thinking your skill is not enough, especially after reading others' work. By internalizing these doubts, it leads to halting your writing journey. Succumbing to these doubts is a sign to change the pen you are using. Maybe the reason you are unable to go on is that the pen you’re using is slowly getting poisoned with these false beliefs. That is why this is the time to recognize those negative mindsets and change them. Start anew and refill a stronger pen, one that is sturdy and is not easily broken with these toxic doubtful mindsets.
Step #5: Pick up your pen
After all of these realizations, it is now the time to recommit with writing. This should be the most exhilarating part, picking up your pen once again, inking these blank pages once more. The thrill of weaving words to create worlds is being ignited gradually. And don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be a large stride immediately, taking one little step at a time is already the best way to go. The first step may be different for every writer, but what matters is how it nurtures writing in the end.
Losing the passion for writing is my greatest fear for a reason. Because it meant giving up a part of my identity that I am proud to have. But as mentioned earlier, it doesn’t have to be the end, after all, the period exists because a new sentence is expected to be written. We just have to find the right words to use.
If the ink runs out, it may be the signal of a writer’s death but don’t forget, ink can be refilled and a chapter could start again.
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